yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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