Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
