that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
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