I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
pray to the hookup gods
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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