To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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