Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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