Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
