just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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