matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I take back everything I said about communal showers
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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