Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
