So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
