come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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