im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
