I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
The air taste purple.
Randomize
