is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
