No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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