This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
