ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
