Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
