Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I wish I only lived at night.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize