Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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