Ambien. No doubt about it.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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