You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
