You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
