OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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