your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
