your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
