It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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