What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
