I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
