grandma shit on top of the toilet
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
