I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
