I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
