I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize