So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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