He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
