I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
