Soap is not a condiment
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
