hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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