dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
