Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize