What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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