Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
