goodnight i made you a song goodbye
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
