I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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