this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize