I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
