I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
