So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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