i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
