I can tuck mytits in my pants
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
