New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
