is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
