Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
