Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I skipped work to stalk him.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
