Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize