he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
