Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize