My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
