They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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