and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
