So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
There's always time for handjobs
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
