you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
