Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
