i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
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