I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
