You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Bring me that man meat
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Randomize
