lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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