I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
