The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
