i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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