Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Dick very happy bro
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
