I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
