if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
