Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
and i looked up. we had an audience...
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize